Your Most Important Relationship

The most important relationship you will have is the one you have with yourself.

In the busy life we lead today, it seems people have forgotten about themselves and who they truly are and are busier than ever, consumed with the day in and day out of life, work, kids, living their life giving to others, being there for everyone else, supporting and nurturing others, living their lives according to other peoples needs and other people’s expectations of them.  To add to the constant hustle and bustle of life, we have social media, we can be contactable anytime of the day or night with mobile phones, texts, emails and working hours can be stretched out if you are contactable via these means.  Shopping centres are open 7 days a week, some even 24 hours a day. People have become busier and time out seems a thing of the past.  Gone are the days when it was considered inappropriate to call people after 9pm and the weekends were the times to catch up and relax before work on Monday.

If this sounds like you, its more than time to value yourself as much as you value and give to everyone else.  People who are kind hearted or naturally give to others, tend to put their own needs aside for the sake of others and continue to give, forgetting about themselves.  Often people who give a lot to others, lack clear strong boundaries for themselves.  Boundaries and learning to value and give to yourself, are often hard to maintain for the giving people as they are so use to doing it all themselves, taking on more and more without asking for assistance.  They will often wear the mask of coping and say “I’m Ok” and can find it difficult to accept help from others for fear of putting others out or to appear in control and strong. Behind a mask of strength portrayed, can be a person crumbling under the pressure and expectation they put on themselves.

It’s time to turn that light you give to everyone else and give some of that nurturing to you too.  If you don’t do it for yourself, the chances are no-one else will do it for you and over time, exhaustion sets in, anxiety can set in and illness can set in to force you to “STOP”.  A forced stop, such as the flu, is your body overloaded, out of balance and run down.  Where has your life become unbalanced?  Were you doing too much and forgetting about yourself in the weeks leading up to the flu?  Remember, there is an emotional component to illness too.

Learning to value yourself and set boundaries that are right for you will help you balance and maintain your health and wellbeing.  When I speak to people, especially Mothers, about the importance of being able to do things for themselves, as well as everyone else, the two common responses I get is “but isn’t that selfish?” or “I don’t have time to do things for me.” It is not selfish at all, in fact being a mother, or a father, is very selfless and even more reason to make time for yourself and recharge your batteries doing something that is important to you.  You can always find the time to be there for others, so you can make the time for you too.

Whether its work, family or relationships,  value yourself and learn to balance because you are just as deserving as anyone else. Setting boundaries will see your energy and your enthusiasm lift. Others will be learning from you too and by setting boundaries, teaches others how to treat you and where your limits are.  It’s OK to say “No” if it is not right for you without feeling responsible for the other person. You do not have to be there at everyone else’s beck and call if it doesn’t suit you.  Delegate, lighten your load, put up boundaries for when its ok and when its not and set time aside for you.

One thing I have incorporated into my life is a massage every three weeks. I have this as a regular booking as I know if I didn’t I would probably forget to do it.  This keeps me grounded, balanced and de-stressed and is something that works well for me.

Boundaries are also a great tool for increased self awareness.  Implement some boundaries and take note of positive changes that occur in your life when you do.  You will then be aware, in time, if your boundaries have been forgotten, overstepped or need readjusting.

For those of you who are feeling exhausted, stressed, run down, unwell or for those of you who love a bath, this bath tonic will leave you feeling, relaxed, calm and will help you sleep like a baby.

Emotional Detox- Add to your water

4 tablespoons of Epsom Salts or Himalayan Sea Salts (Himalayan Sea Salt has over 80 minerals the body can absorb so I like this one!)

2-4  tablespoons of Apple Cider Vinegar.

This is great bath, not only to soothe your mind but for your physical body and any aches and pains you may have.

Give it a go, you will love it!